Friday, January 30, 2009

On the Rocks (Quite Literally, It Seems)

There is something eminently pleasing about today's Hagar the Horrible. Sure, it's an antifeminist nightmare of epic proportions--sure, it is reusing the most prevalent of the comic's six jokes--but really, who isn't secretly amused by the image of Helga carefully sliding rocks beneath the sheets on her husband's side of the bed? Even more morally satisfying is that it takes Hagar a while to figure out what's going on, and then he's simply so tired that he just closes his eyes and begins to drift back into highly uncomfortable sleep.

The medieval context makes everything slightly more ominous. Why are Hagar and Helga wearing their helmets to bed? We already know that Hagar, who wears the horns proudly, is a cuckold...but Helga? Is she mocking her husband? Is she implying that she is, er, horny? Did she just forget to take the damn helmet off? Or is she lying there thinking, "I wear a helmet to bed, and you don't care! I put rocks in your bed, and you hardly notice! Maybe tomorrow I should hide my lusty young lover under the sheets. You'll get a real surprise then.*

Helga is the Wife of Bath, my friends. Soon--very soon--she will reveal her true colours. Perhaps she will even introduce a seventh joke to the comic. I can hardly wait.






*A cake! No, wait...

4 comments:

Michael said...

If Helga is the Wife of Bath, she is likely preparing for a new, improved husband. The rocks in the bed may be the first item in achieving this goal.*

*Alisoun, the Wife of Bath, fondly remembers torturing her fourth husband because she felt he robbed her of her youth and beauty. It is suspiciously unclear how he died.

dmontag said...

Kem, Please don't give up on this blog...

Brian said...

I hate to say it, and maybe it's just my unfamiliarity with Old English. But when I read Hagar asking: "whi ys mi syde of the bedde so knosti?" -- well, rocks are not what comes to mind first.

Angry Kem said...

dmontag: I won't give up on it. I just hit a frantic spot in my schedule again. Part of the problem is that I teach a lot in the morning now, so I don't have time to read comics, and then later on I generally have to finish stuff for the next day. By the time I'm done, it's midnight, and I have to go to bed so I can get up early the next morning...

Next week, however, is my university's study break. I'll be marking the whole time, but I'll probably be able to dedicate an hour or so per morning to comics.

After that, we'll see. The updates may remain spotty out of necessity, but you never know. Bear with me in this Time of Too Many Classes, my friends.