Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Most Wonderful Thing About Crockers...Is There Is Only One

I spent today having fun in such wildly disparate ways (after a dim sum lunch, my friends and I played mahjong for several hours, then grabbed some sushi and went to see Coraline) that I almost feel that I really may not be hallucinating today's Crock. If I had, say, marked for twelve hours--as I probably should have done--I would have been more willing to dismiss the comic below as a delusion brought on by too many misspellings of the word "writing."* The juxtaposition of several earnest discussions regarding the most efficient way to stack mahjong tiles and the viewing of a 3D film involving characters with big black buttons for eyes has left me quite willing to accept that Crock's insanity is nothing out of the ordinary.

As you can see, Mssrs. Rechin and Wilder have absolutely no idea how sugar works. They seem to think that it makes everyone who consumes it, including legionnaires who are generally portrayed as being on the verge of starvation, grin madly and bounce around like Tigger. Never mind that the sugar is not replacing the actual nutrients that generally keep the soldiers lethargic and despairing; it is apparently capable of energising them to a miraculous degree.

In fact, what we are witnessing here is clearly either a miracle or a demonic possession. As Crock has proven itself to be consistently medieval, I am going to have to go with the latter. Medieval people certainly enjoyed a good miracle tale, but possession was much more fun. Crock is wrong to admonish Orville; he is not feeding the men sugar but attempting to save their souls by forcing them to fast for their sins. Alas, the devil has entered into them, and all the cook's hard work has been undone.

Tune in next Sunday as Figowitz speaks in tongues for six panels, then belches flame and leaps off a cliff. It should be quite a good time.

*As usual, I'm truly not making this up. I've lost count of all the times my students have discussed "the writting of Stephan King's The Shinning." Sometimes, my brain really hurts a lot.


Fintano said...

You remind me of the time when I was in a long line at the supermarket. To pass the time I grabbed a copy of the National Enquirer which boasted the headline "Teen Possessed by Demon: Doctors Baffled!".

The headline was actually a pretty good summary of the event, except that it neglected to note that the event took place in the 15th century.

dmontag said...

Speaking of "The Shinning", there was a very good Halloween episode of "The Simpsons" several years ago by that name.

Angry Kem said...

Fintano: I remind you of an extremely obsolete National Enquirer article? Sweet!

Dmontag: I know; it's nicely done. Unfortunately, my students call Stephen King's version The Shinning. They probably call the Simpsons episode The Shining. Ah well.

Ducktastic said...

I am reminded of my (oh god, long-ago) college days where I peer edited a paper that was about "militant muslins." To this day my friends and I giggle, picturing militant sheets of fabric. :)